A little mid-week inspiration

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him."
-Isaiah 30:18

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Signing on...

I have decided it's finally time for me to join the ranks of countless other less-than-fertile women in the blogosphere. This process has been long and tiresome, but God has opened my eyes and heart to a few things that I would not fully appreciate otherwise. I plan to share these things here, as best I can, in hopes of providing something relatable to others who may find themselves unwittingly trapped in this journey that they did not choose. I also plan to use this blog as a way to update friends and family on the progress of our treatments. Infertility is a constant cyclical ocean of weird emotions, and I've realized that I'm not always in the right state of mind to discuss these things in person. I figure some of these things will just be easier to communicate in writing. If you know me and love me, please know that I am by no means offended or annoyed by your questions; rather, I know that your interest means that you care. I just have a hard time talking a...

The Gifts of Infertility

The waiting was hard. The uncertainty was maddening. Three years trickled by, peppered abundantly by nearly countless joyful pregnancy announcements from family, friends, and acquaintances. I patiently watched their bellies swell with tiny lives, and watched as those tiny lives grew into rambunctious toddlers with minds and personalities all their own. I constantly struggled against my own pervasive feelings of stagnancy, monotony, and envy; for this is the ugly reality of the human response to infertility. I knew in my head that I was genuinely happy for the super-fertiles surrounding me, and I was capable of expressing that happiness most of the time. But so often my heart just wanted to sink into the undercurrent of depression and hang out there for a while. Some days were fine; I could babysit, attend baby showers, and knit baby hats for dear friends... all with genuine joy in my heart. But other days, triggers sat on the surface of my sk...

Keep On Keepin' On...

Moving right along... we decided to do another round of Clomid this month instead of the Bravelle injectables. If this one doesn't take, we'll probably move onto the injectables, but I did feel more peace about giving Clomid another go. Just a head's up... this post may be slightly TMI for some of you, so just skip to the end if you're the squeamish type. I had my ultrasound yesterday to determine follicle size and insemination scheduling, and it looks like I should have 2-3 good follicles and our IUI is scheduled for Saturday. One side effect of Clomid is that your uterine lining can become thinner over time, and this is the first month that it's become an issue for me. Nothing major... just slightly too thin for the best chances, so I have to take estradiol supplements for a couple days to hopefully build it up. I've decided I'm giving this cycle my FULL attention and throwing everything I've got at it. I'm temperature charting; I'm ...

Though It Tarries

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