Though It Tarries

Today is a milestone!  We completed our first (and hopefully only) IUI cycle and we've got two weeks to wait and see what happens. Things I've learned over the last two weeks: The Pt. Loma Kaiser pharmacy (one of only two locations where you can pick up fertility meds) pretty much always has a one hour wait.  Bleh. Clomid is cheap, but Chorionic Gonadotropin (the ovulation "trigger shot") is really expensive... at least on my minimal insurance plan. Clomid isn't as scary as everyone makes it out to be.  I had zero side effects. Despite his general squeamishness about guts and blood, Mike was surprisingly calm and collected (dare I say... excited?) about sticking me with a needle at home. IUI is significantly less painful than the HSG procedure. So... here we go.  Commence emotional roller coaster.  Stay tuned, folks!

The realization of infertility approaches slowly.  First, your mind begins to wonder why things are taking a bit longer than you expected... but you quickly dismiss your fears in light of the fact that 8, 9, 10 months is still within the range of "normal," right?  Soon, 12 months hits and you're suddenly faced with the prospect that you may in fact qualify for the official diagnosis. Maybe we just haven't been timing things right.  Maybe I should stop drinking coffee.  Maybe I should try standing on my head (kidding). It was at this point that I finally sucked it up and bought a pack of magical ovulation-detecting pee sticks at Target.  Which, by the way, are NOT cheap!  $40 for a 1-month supply?  Excuse me, ClearBlue, but are you really that intent on adding insult to injury?  Just watch  me stretch your "1-month supply" into 4 months.  Start testing on day 6?  Psh.  Try day 10.  I live on the edge. Anyway, a...

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.  Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay." - Habakkuk 2:3 (NASB) Mike shared this verse with me a little while back after hearing some commentary on the radio.  Basically, the Israelites were awaiting God's revelation (vision) to the prophet Habakkuk regarding their deliverance from the oppressive Chaldeans.  God had promised that he would speak to them, but had not yet done so. Now, what can a wannabe mama learn from ancient Israel and a minor prophet?  Let's consult the experts: "Note, God has an appointed time for his appointed work, and will be sure to do the work when the time comes; it is not for us to anticipate his appointments, but to wait his time.  And it is a great encouragement to wait with patience, that, though the promised favor be deferred long, it will come at last, and be an abundant recompense to us f...

I have decided it's finally time for me to join the ranks of countless other less-than-fertile women in the blogosphere. This process has been long and tiresome, but God has opened my eyes and heart to a few things that I would not fully appreciate otherwise. I plan to share these things here, as best I can, in hopes of providing something relatable to others who may find themselves unwittingly trapped in this journey that they did not choose. I also plan to use this blog as a way to update friends and family on the progress of our treatments. Infertility is a constant cyclical ocean of weird emotions, and I've realized that I'm not always in the right state of mind to discuss these things in person. I figure some of these things will just be easier to communicate in writing. If you know me and love me, please know that I am by no means offended or annoyed by your questions; rather, I know that your interest means that you care. I just have a hard time talking a...